Many people feel guilt when
they withdraw from their partner or suddenly feel the need for another
partner, especially if they are the loyal type. But they should
analyze their feelings and when their emotions changed. It will be
easier for me to list the possible reasons and I shall be stating the
obvious, but that will save making a complete list for yourself.
There will be many more reasons that can cause one to fall out of love,
and I would really appreciate it if any readers can add more reasons to
1: Living together has become boring.
2: There is nothing new to know about each other.
3: Complacency has set in.
4: You have not 'grown' together.
5: One or both of you have intensely irritating habits.
6: Either one has changed physically or emotionally, and is a different person than the one who entered the relationship.
7: You do not like each others friends, or you like them too much.
You have put up a barrier due to a guilt feeling of your own, as in
feeling you are not, or cannot be a good wife. Or; Have not been able
to forgive yourself or partner for a past indiscretion.
9: Opinions differ too much.
10: Morals are far too different.
11: The chemistry has gone.
12: One or both are not affectionate enough.
13: There is not enough physical appeal or sexual contact and satisfaction.
14: You do not enjoy each others company or interests.
15: They take up your personal space and you prefer being alone,or with your friends.
16: You feel left out when they prefer their friends to your company.
17: You are more sexually interested in other new men, or women.
18: You start to fantasize about someone else and yearn to have a relationship.
are legitimate reasons for why a partner may 'stray' and, if they are
not contemplating leaving the relationship, they ought to be, or they
will end up having affairs, learn to lie, sneak around, and feel
terrible about being so unfaithful to their partner.
with someone with a few of these feelings, will be far WORSE and more
damaging to your spirit, than living alone, for then, you will NOT feel
so alone when you can spend ALL your spare time, with those you truly
want to be around. Friends can easily be made and if you are a good
friend, you will have good friends in return.
ought to go through this kind of daily partner trauma through being
scared of separation or a divorce. You do not need to go onto another
partner, only to find yourself in the same situation. Take the time
and be incredibly choosy. Make sure that any of the above reasons to
fall out of love, are not there, as it usually can be seen from the
early days. At that time, one is likely to be more forgiving, and hope
a change will occur. Be sensible, this will not happen, or certainly,
will not be long-lasting. Be honest and never drag it out, as you will
not be thanked for it later. Why go through a longer hell, when it
will take so much more time to build a new, (but exciting) life for
A peaceful and
happier home is also kinder to children of the marriage, and although
at first it is all upsetting, they soon settle in to two separate
homes. They can even find it thrilling, with the extra presents and
quality time lavished on them. Better for all round that the children
are not able to become bitter about the many years they experienced in
being around their parents arguments with the cold or anxious
atmospheres. Children are adaptable and far more forgiving as
children, than when they become teenagers. (Absolute, personal proof
If you feel unable to share
your children with your ex-partner's new partner, you will need to
train yourself to accept that this HAS to be and make the whole thing
as positive as possible. Everyone can only benefit from this attitude.
As long as you stay constantly understanding in a way your children
will always want to talk to you about every worry they go through,
knowing it be dealt with in a calm and efficient manner, you will all
stay as close as you are now. If your reaction causes concern to the
child, they will hide things so as not to cause extra trouble.
I feel this is the most difficult part of any divorce, as this part
needs the patience of a sage and the analyzing way of a Guru. It means
keeping your personal hurts to yourself, or only sharing them with your
best friend, who will be as discreet as you are. It will be one of the
short cuts to helping the spirit evolve, and possibly, the spirits of
your children too.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(If anyone needs some support
to be brave in a difficult situation, contact me. I am certified in
the university of life and trauma, ready to be of service. Of course,
all free and in between my busy projects.)